Letting Go

The shock has faded
when I see you in dreams
alive in your late 40s
frozen at the age you were
when I saw you every day.
This time you tried to protect me
even though I am old enough
to take care of myself
even though I’ve grown accustomed
to your absence.
Part of me still longs for her daddy
to scare away monsters
as if mortgages and heartbreak
dissolve in the light.
I wish I knew how to conjure you up
make your image play
on the screen behind my eyes
so this dehydrated heart
can drink up
the last bit of sleep.